[personal] A non wheesung post....Sad truth

first of all, this is a personal post about myself. it has no relation to wheesung, but the reason i'm posting here is that i wanted to share with others my feelings.

now, i feel terribly sad for the truth that i got to know recently.

not trying to hide it from the public, i am honestly to disclose here that my father has another family other than the one i'm living in. he has a daughter with the mistress that he has and she has grown to 19 years now. being living in such family is hard, when you will share your father's love and affection with another persons. i might had contributed 100% to him, but what i only have in return is just 50% from him. it goes the same with my mom.

time flies so fast that we are now grown up. my father is getting older and near to his retirement soon. i have no choice but to work with him, one is to secure his wealth and another is to supervise his spending power and actions during work. certainly, i got to known a lot of things and the sad part is that, i couldn't tell my mom about it. the reasoning why i kept my mouth shut is to avoid fight and quarrels at home. we had so much of it and grew tired of the scars it left.

it's even sadder when my father is expecting so much from us without thinking that he can only contribute his 50% to us. there were times that we failed to deliver what he wanted, but that is human nature. We do make mistakes. he never appreciate us, but scolded us in return. as he is living with us, we found it harder and harder to communicate with him.

until recently, i got to know that he has been treating his "another daughter" so well. Relatives has told us that they saw them together dining out at expensive restaurants frequently. they saw him buying things in large scale, for the size of two families. he dared to spent his money on her but always being stingy to us. everything he bought home something, very little thing, i got so frustrated thinking that this is the balance to us after distributed to "some people". Are we your rubbish bin?

he never bring us to those expensive restaurants. he always chooses the cheap place to dine out with us. why is he treating us like that even we are the official family of his. what have we done wrong?

is he having an excuse to repay back what he cant give to her? that is your own mistake and not ours. we have no rights to be sacrificed.

why?

i feel very unfortunate.

even we have his body, we lose his soul.